Self Perpetuating Cycle
The way a person thinks about
themselves will result in others reflecting back to
them those very feelings. Thus as the good feelings someone has
about about
themselves grow, the way others respond to them will also improve…
the whole
process is cyclic and self perpetuating.
From the above discussion it is clear
that there is a close relationship between
self acceptance and the willingness to reveal the truth about
oneself. Strength is
gained by someone’s willingness to reveal their true self, not a
image which they
believe will be more acceptable to others. Unwillingness to real
the truth usually means that the person is afraid of the possible
reactions to the truth concerning their real thoughts and feelings.
In order for an individual to feel that they deserve love and respect, they must initially feel that they are accepted for who and what they are. Lack of acceptance results in unhappiness, loneliness, isolation, the pursuit of escapist exploits e.g. drugs and alcohol misuse, anti social behaviour etc.
Thus self acceptance is founded on accepting relationships with others.
Self Accepting Characteristics and Behaviours
The characteristics and behaviours associated with a self accepting individuals are detailed below.
They:-
-
have strong beliefs and principles, which they will defend (alone if necessary) unless new objective evidence suggests that they are in error.
- will act in self interest, with or without the approval of others.
- do not spend time worrying excessively about past or present events.
- have enough confidence to pursue daily activities despite inevitable difficulties and occasional failure.
- believe that all people are equal and that they are no better or worse than anyone else.
- believe that they are valuable to those who they value.
- are able to accept compliments without false humility.
- do not allow others to intimidate them.
- are able to admit their true thoughts and feelings to others.
- enjoy their lives (work, rest and play).
- are sensitive the needs of others and do not indulge in selfishness at another’s expense.
Communicating with Others
To create an atmosphere of emotional security, it is necessary to make the acceptance of others the foundation of how you communicate with them. This is true whether your communication medium is verbal or non verbal.
To communicate effectively and thus build trusting relationships, one must a) listen with understanding and real interest and b) express kindness, unconditional acceptance and empathy.
Failure to Portray Acceptance
An individual can fail to communicate acceptance in the following ways:-
1. asking questions without caring about the answer e.g. ‘how are you’?
2. giving generic responses, instead of specific ones that result from the relationship.
3. staying silent rather than communicating ones thoughts/feelings.
I conclusion, self acceptance (an the acceptance of others) is the means by which an individuals creates and develops meaningful relationships with others.
