Never Without Makeup - Interview
February 2010

For this months article, we have interviewed a body image conscious women about her use of makeup. She is very concerned about her physical appearance and will not leave the house without makeup.

Our interviewee is a 50 years old married woman with 3 adult sons.   

How would you describe yourself?

I am self controlled and  health conscious.  I cook from scratch, I like food , but know when to stop.  For example, I allow myself 1 biscuit or 2 biscuits.  No more.  I do not allow myself any coffee until I get to work.

I’m 50, I don’t  look it,  but I feel  it.  I can tell when I try to get up; my bones hurt.   I take Cod Live oil and Evening Primrose Oil.

Are you happy with your body?

I’m slim. I want to stay slim.  When I look in the mirror, I pull myself in. M y husband likes me slim. He tells me if I’ve gained weight and talks about my body, usually my stomach.   

It is also very important that my clothes, hair and makeup look right.

Recently we went on a work related group trip abroad. We quickly noticed that one of the teenage girls in the group was not eating.  She was known to have a very poor self image. To try to help her, one of the leaders suggested a “no makeup day”.   My first thought was “no way! I must wear lipstick and blusher”.   

Then I started to cry.  In the end I  managed not to wear it a short time then I applied it very lightly.

Why tears ?

I had a terrible time as a teenager with spots and acne on my face and shoulders. Mother took her to the doctors and I tried all kinds of creams and lotions, but nothing worked.  .It was particularly bad when 14-15 years old. Boys were horrible, they called me a leper.

Do you always wear makeup?

Yes; because of my skin, I started wearing really thick blusher…  my cheeks were permanently rosy.  I also always wear lipstick; I like the texture of it.

I apply blusher and lipstick every day before leaving the house.  I can’t go without  makeup. I wish I could, but without them I feel bare.  When I’m not wearing it I keep looking at myself in the mirror … I feel ugly.

 At lunchtime I clock watch until it’s twenty five past, then I must reapply my lipstick.  It has become a ritual. I have to wear it to work, I reapply it at lunch time and whenever I’m feeling vulnerable. Recently , because of my very supportive friends,  I managed to reduce  this a little.

How would you describe your body image?

When I look in the mirror, I see more than others see.    Without makeup I feel like I have not clothes on. My sister says that I have a problem. I can’t do without it. At times when I’m upset or if I’ve had a row with my husband,   I have to put it on again.  I feel very insecure without it.

I got divorced from my first husband 10-11 years ago.  I felt rejected. Who would want me?   Even now, despite being happily married, I am still afraid of rejection.

What does ‘being attractive’ mean to you?

To be nice and slim, It’s very important.  When upset I do not eat. I’m frightened that if I started eating; I wouldn’t be able to stop.   I’m very conscious that I will start to get a belly, “the middle age spread”.

At this very moment, I can’t get last years jeans on. My stomach comes over the top.  I want to get back into them.

How much of your happiness is tied up in how you look?

80-90%.  I know that’s really  vain.  I am terrible for looking at other people, their bodies, hair even shoes.  I always look at other people’s hair because I’m dissatisfied with my own hair.

I don’t go to the gym, or drive, so I walk a lot.  Exercise helps.

What are you hopes for the future?

I would like laser treatment on my face and surgery on my nose. I would like to be able to have photos taken side on. I don’t like my nose, I never have.  Also because I was not good at maths, I was classed as think.  None of this was good for my self esteem; it has affected my whole life.  I do feel like I’m mentally scared.

I’m happy with life. I’m proud of my boys and I have good friends.  I would like to do better at work; I always want to better myself.

I see people with beautiful clear skin and I want to be like them.  I can’t understand why God made me this way.